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Even a small amount, goes along way in Madagascar. She looks like a natural exhibitionist, but in fact has been suffering from depression for the past 18 months. Once a senior manager for an energy company, today she finds it hard even to leave the house. Her antidepressants have also caused her to gain weight. Jenny, at 73, is the oldest model here. I used to hate that. Lilian, 53, is immaculately groomed and works in a primary school. She has come to celebrate her body. And a healthy, robust body is always beautiful. She is hoping that posing in the nude will help her reclaim her own body somewhat ironically, the following week, she is set to start work on a campaign against Page Three.
Compared with these women, my own inhibitions seem trivial, but they are very real to me. I worry about my bottom being too big, my bust too small and about my cellulite, and that when I take my clothes off, everyone will judge me. In the draughty hall, some 50 artists from a group called London Drawing are waiting for us to climb on to the podium. Some have charcoal to draw with, some are armed with coloured pencils, and others have scissors with which they will be snipping out our silhouettes. There is complete silence, apart from the roaring of the giant heaters that will keep us warm.
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I divert my energy from trying to suck my stomach in to trying not to giggle in case Clifford thinks I might have broken with etiquette and looked down. I twirl obediently and stare in the opposite direction as he holds my hand above my head. Now, Clifford suggests we sink to our knees, side by side, in an attitude of prayer. I catch the eye of an artist staring intently at me, sketching like fury. With a thrill of pride, I realise she is drawing me. So even though my knees are by now burning in agony, I stay as still as I can until she starts looking in another direction.
Then I climb off the platform and walk to the other side to pose for the other artists, without giving a thought to how my bottom might look from the side. But then I have a more interesting realisation: And thinness is no longer the ideal. I have carefully arranged myself in an interesting, angular posture when one of the largest models — an engineer in specs — sits down next to me. I know immediately that her extravagant curves and folds of flesh will be much more appealing to draw than my size 12 physique.