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The world learned last year that the Strictly Come Dancing star Anton du Beke has a hairy back when he was pictured on the beach, and to me his sexual allure plummeted in that moment. I, too, recall being on a beach holiday with one male friend who suddenly turned over to ensure an even tan, and caused me to scream, thinking that some bestial life form had landed on him from the sky. So please, Mr Jackman, Mr Owen and all you other less renowned hairy-chested males, don't take your kit off until you've taken your hair off. Waxing is worth it. Real women like the feeling of something that resembles polished oak - think of the oak of England that made our Navy the greatest in the world - not a handful of damp, mouldering moss.

When you take the plunge after your fourth date and unpeel your new man from his Gap outfit and throw him to the floor of your badly repainted flat, it is always wonderful to find a hairy chest beneath the cheap and unfashionable clothing. It is like winning the petting lottery. The last heyday of hair for men was the Seventies, when Bodie and Doyle of The Professionals strutted across the television screen like bears in brogues and men wore their shirts slashed to the waist. But for the past 20 years, fashion has been a sad and hairless desert. I have watched Daniel Craig and David Beckham ponce around with their plaster of Paris smooth chests in boy skirts, waiting for me to drool on them.

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Not a metrosexual, but Man. I actually feel sorry for men who don't have chest hair. For me, it is like they have no head. On the other hand, using depilatory cream is painless, but the re-growth is much faster because the hair follicles are not plucked out from the root. In either case, waxing or using depilatory cream is much better than shaving. But do you really want to remove all of your chest hair?

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Think twice, think thrice, and think many times over and over again before you even think about getting laser hair removal or any other form of permanent treatment.

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